I read a little bit more of Gravity's Rainbow by Thomas Pynchon, and though i am only on page 30 or so, i can tell that this will not be an easy read. pynchon likes to delve into the subconscious of characters and explain thoughts on an almost free flowing basis, which is quite reminiscent of the way James Joyce writes, at least in Ulyseses, and to a lesser extent, reminds me a little of Henry Miller as well. However, i have great admiration for both these writers, and while I have never gotten through a Joyce, I have devoured several millers. I cannot guarantee myself that i will finish this book, but I'm definately going to keep hammering at it. I think if i balance it or offset it with my new Lennon biography i could help ensure my sanity remains at stasis.
I hate to admit to this one, but i've been downloading mass quantities of illegal music. I'm such a criminal, and a petty one at that. but i've just rediscovered gym class heroes, i had heard the songs Cupid's Chokehold ("Take a look at my girlfriend") and Clothes Off!, but I never got that into them at the time i guess, and right now it doesnt feel like it was so long ago, but both songs came out at least 3 or 4 years ago, and i feel like a loser but i'm obsessed with them both now and can't stop listening to them!! i have the 2 tracks on a playlist and its repeated, and i cant wait till stump does another chorus in the vein of these two songs and submits it to the heroes. I cant get enough fall out boy as of late, and have listened to over 400 fall out boy songs (counting duplicates) in just the last 2 weeks. I'm just catching onto to what feels like the tail end of the fall out boy craze as well, i'm always so behind on my musical sensibilities...
~emster
Friday, February 20, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
f my l
i just want to take a quick second to talk about the weed i've been smoking lately. if i can get a digicam in the near future, i'll take pics of like each bowl before i smoke it or something would be awesome haha, but anyways, this weed that i have now is kinda shabby, but it was only 50, which is weird to say but that means its not good quality. i'd kill someone to have a dank hookup, but the only guy i know who can get anything decent is an arse and i hate communicating with him, even for the sake of getting great bags! f my l!
Scrobble my life
I figured it's about time for another post, it's probably the new school semester that has me in the mood to start doing things again. I've been reading lately, a hobby I had cast aside for quite some time. Of notable mention are the books Doctor Faustus by Thomas Mann, Norman's new Lennon bio, and Thomas Pynchon's Gravity's Rainbow. I am just starting Gravity's rainbow as well as the biography, and got about a quarter through Faustus before it started to get too much for me, but i will definitely
come back to it at a later point in time.
work tonight was one of the best nights in recent times, our manager made a stupid mistake and set our normally really time conscious operation back by 20 minutes, which you'd think would have effected the end time of when we got done 2 hours later, but thanks to my busting ass, we were out at our normal time. i can really do good work when i put my mind to it. it didnt hurt that the person who was assisting me at my job was this gorgeous female who i've never been able to have much contact with because she normally doesnt do the job she was doing tonight.
despite our close proximities, however, i was only able to talk to her a few times. i think both of us are shy, me possibly being the worst, and this will not aid in my ever getting together with her in the future.
it is a Wednesday night, and all my old friends are out for wings and drinking, where i am holding steadfast to my newly adopted lifestyle of hermitage, or the practice of being a hermit, or aka the practice of sitting in one's room on popular social nights, and then bugging people to hang out on the evenings when no one would want to. my school schedule which starts considerably earlier than ever before does not make me want to go out any worse. i've almost sworn off drinking entirely thanks to my new practice, doing so only on rare occasions, which i feel is a double edged sword that makes me proud now, but i feel i might regret the way i've been so anti social in the near or later future, when i think back of how good of times i could have been having otherwise.
but i am reassured by the great Neil Strauss, who admits in his brilliant expose' of the pickup community that he lived much a similar life while in college, and didnt begin to socially blossom until later in his life. this is going to be me.
one thing that makes me nervous about blogging is that i seriously dont want anyone i know in real life to cross link me to this blog! i want to be able to talk about things but i'm afraid a little google search will bring all my closest contacts upon my every waking thought.
i am resolving for this not to be my last post of the week
come back to it at a later point in time.
work tonight was one of the best nights in recent times, our manager made a stupid mistake and set our normally really time conscious operation back by 20 minutes, which you'd think would have effected the end time of when we got done 2 hours later, but thanks to my busting ass, we were out at our normal time. i can really do good work when i put my mind to it. it didnt hurt that the person who was assisting me at my job was this gorgeous female who i've never been able to have much contact with because she normally doesnt do the job she was doing tonight.
despite our close proximities, however, i was only able to talk to her a few times. i think both of us are shy, me possibly being the worst, and this will not aid in my ever getting together with her in the future.
it is a Wednesday night, and all my old friends are out for wings and drinking, where i am holding steadfast to my newly adopted lifestyle of hermitage, or the practice of being a hermit, or aka the practice of sitting in one's room on popular social nights, and then bugging people to hang out on the evenings when no one would want to. my school schedule which starts considerably earlier than ever before does not make me want to go out any worse. i've almost sworn off drinking entirely thanks to my new practice, doing so only on rare occasions, which i feel is a double edged sword that makes me proud now, but i feel i might regret the way i've been so anti social in the near or later future, when i think back of how good of times i could have been having otherwise.
but i am reassured by the great Neil Strauss, who admits in his brilliant expose' of the pickup community that he lived much a similar life while in college, and didnt begin to socially blossom until later in his life. this is going to be me.
one thing that makes me nervous about blogging is that i seriously dont want anyone i know in real life to cross link me to this blog! i want to be able to talk about things but i'm afraid a little google search will bring all my closest contacts upon my every waking thought.
i am resolving for this not to be my last post of the week
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Me HeArt Ravi Shankar
I've been up to some things lately... I think I've finally decided what I'm going to buy with all my new found money! I was randomly searching 'sitar' on various music websites, and I found this... http://www.music123.com/Rogue-STR-1-Pro-Electric-Sitar-Guitar-519273-i1150535.Music123
It appears to me to be an electric guitar, and then above the strings are some "drone strings", which are meant to simulate a sitar. Which means that you could play some sitar notes in the background of a guitar run! The sheer novelty of it is what makes me willing to spend $350 big ones on such a thing... or perhaps finance it for as low as $15 a month.... I feel that I would regret that soon but I just can't stop imagining this thing sitting in my room! It would inspire me to pick it up everytime I look it at, just like my current amazing guitar does. I love everything that is interesting and different, things that my friends would never have seen anywhere before.
I think so.
Pretty busy deigh today, only one class at 2:15, but then I had to work and then a group meeting where we didnt have much to do. Pretty busy guy.
To be perfectly honest, this blog is not really a "labor of love" like I feel that a blog should really be, more just something I do to take my mind off certain things, something i do in between smoking weed and jacking off. That's pretty much all it is. And then I like to look at it throughout the day, so I can look and be like "look, I exist and have something" so I can understand why if anyone ever came here, they didn't stay very long. Or say any comments.
It appears to me to be an electric guitar, and then above the strings are some "drone strings", which are meant to simulate a sitar. Which means that you could play some sitar notes in the background of a guitar run! The sheer novelty of it is what makes me willing to spend $350 big ones on such a thing... or perhaps finance it for as low as $15 a month.... I feel that I would regret that soon but I just can't stop imagining this thing sitting in my room! It would inspire me to pick it up everytime I look it at, just like my current amazing guitar does. I love everything that is interesting and different, things that my friends would never have seen anywhere before.
I think so.
Pretty busy deigh today, only one class at 2:15, but then I had to work and then a group meeting where we didnt have much to do. Pretty busy guy.
To be perfectly honest, this blog is not really a "labor of love" like I feel that a blog should really be, more just something I do to take my mind off certain things, something i do in between smoking weed and jacking off. That's pretty much all it is. And then I like to look at it throughout the day, so I can look and be like "look, I exist and have something" so I can understand why if anyone ever came here, they didn't stay very long. Or say any comments.
Monday, September 22, 2008
The Suicide of David Foster Wallace
Over this summer, I had the incredible experience of reading Infinite Jest in its entirety, including only the second half of the footnotes, after I started to realize that they were just as interesting and funny as the main body of text. I have been vowing to re-read the book since I first put it down, but have been trying to get other reading priorites out of the way in the interim. I borrowed my copy because I wanted someone else to be able to talk about the book with, which was a mistake because the gargantuan novel would take anyone not as crazed and with as much free time as I was and had this summer an infinite amount of time to read the book (counting prolonged put downs of the book, which admittedly happen to the best of us), and so I am resigned to not seeing my copy for about a year or so...
But on Friday night, I was able to borrow a copy from another friend, who had the copy borrowed to him by a philosophy professor, who said that he could keep it. So the night I got home after borrowed it, I googled David Foster Wallace... only to recieve the most disheartening news that I will receive until one of my remaining grandparents dies... the author, who I dubbed my favorite author after finishing I.J., had hung himself in his apartment last week. I feel bad for one because it is such a great loss to me, and also because I was so late to find out about it.
The fact that there will never be another David Foster Wallace book is incredibly unfortunate because there is so little material from him in his humous time. As far as I am aware, he only has one other novel, The Broom of The System, besides Infinite Jest, and a number of collections of short stories. While I still have BOTS, I just know that I am going to forever thirst for more novels by this author who is now dead. I believe I should elaborate on why this novel is so fascinating to me.
It will take a proper essay in order for me to convey the true genius of the piece in my opinion, but let me simply expound on the structure, which is so in an intricate way. The bulk of the story is set between a Halfway House, Ennet House, and the Enfield Tennis Academy. The main characters are Hal Incandeza, a student and son of the creator of ETA, and Don Gately, an on duty senior resident of Ennet House. The main unfoldings are kind of mysterious to me still, but the plot is not really what grabbed me, it was the writing. The stylistic juxtaposition of complex language with post modern street slang words, like "like", he uses the word "like" so much in sentences with really big words... this book just made me constantly smile, I can't even explain it yet. Save that for the reread...
So let me just say that I am deeply panged by the loss of this genius writer, and how it is so mind boggling to me that this man who has such a strong force of manipulation of ideas and language, could possibly not have what he needs to be happy and enjoy life... to the extent where he would take his own life and destroy all of his physical powers, to the decrement of the rest of us.
But on Friday night, I was able to borrow a copy from another friend, who had the copy borrowed to him by a philosophy professor, who said that he could keep it. So the night I got home after borrowed it, I googled David Foster Wallace... only to recieve the most disheartening news that I will receive until one of my remaining grandparents dies... the author, who I dubbed my favorite author after finishing I.J., had hung himself in his apartment last week. I feel bad for one because it is such a great loss to me, and also because I was so late to find out about it.
The fact that there will never be another David Foster Wallace book is incredibly unfortunate because there is so little material from him in his humous time. As far as I am aware, he only has one other novel, The Broom of The System, besides Infinite Jest, and a number of collections of short stories. While I still have BOTS, I just know that I am going to forever thirst for more novels by this author who is now dead. I believe I should elaborate on why this novel is so fascinating to me.
It will take a proper essay in order for me to convey the true genius of the piece in my opinion, but let me simply expound on the structure, which is so in an intricate way. The bulk of the story is set between a Halfway House, Ennet House, and the Enfield Tennis Academy. The main characters are Hal Incandeza, a student and son of the creator of ETA, and Don Gately, an on duty senior resident of Ennet House. The main unfoldings are kind of mysterious to me still, but the plot is not really what grabbed me, it was the writing. The stylistic juxtaposition of complex language with post modern street slang words, like "like", he uses the word "like" so much in sentences with really big words... this book just made me constantly smile, I can't even explain it yet. Save that for the reread...
So let me just say that I am deeply panged by the loss of this genius writer, and how it is so mind boggling to me that this man who has such a strong force of manipulation of ideas and language, could possibly not have what he needs to be happy and enjoy life... to the extent where he would take his own life and destroy all of his physical powers, to the decrement of the rest of us.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Need to Buy...... Something!!
I just got the biggest paycheck that I have earned in a long long time, from my new job where I worked almost every night for 2 weeks... only working about 3.25 hours a night though, a really short shift. The check was for around $320, which is huge relative to a college student whose parents pay his rent and doesnt really have to worry about money like me... so it has created an impulse in my to buy something really expensive, which is like a constant inner drive that I am always fighting and only lose to in circumstances like this when I get a bunch of money in my bank account. And then I lose it all again way before I get paid again and end up eating lots of Ramen noodles.
The main thing that I would like to purchase right now is a wah pedal for my guitar, because I don't have one yet and I feel like it's a really important element to a rig set up. I have been playing for a little over 2 years, and the only pedal that I have so far is a Fab Metal, which was really cheap but still provides a pretty sweet distortion sound. A wah pedal is like the next level of guitar voicing, and I would really cherish it I believe. The pedal costs $70 or so, which is still pretty cheap relative to the other pedals that are out there. It is the Original Dunlop Cry Baby Wah, which is very old school, but was used by many famous artists like Hendrix because there wasn't anything else available back then. The only thing is that I would like to finally start saving money for a change, because I always find something expensive to buy whenever I get paid, and this would just be like any other splurge after the initial buzz of the new effect wears off.
I could also blow a hundred bucks on some pretty sweet new clothes at the mall, and I am really keen on the idea of getting the Guitar Hero featuring the new Metallica album, although right now I dont have many people I could play it with, so it would not be as fun. I would just be playing it in my room all the time, which is not such a good time. I also need some new computer things to accompany the graphics card that I bought but is incompatible with my current pc, so I basically need to build a brand new one to utilize the new card, which I bought in order to play Elder Scrolls V Oblivion because the first one was so cool.
OMG wtf are you doing in my room
The main thing that I would like to purchase right now is a wah pedal for my guitar, because I don't have one yet and I feel like it's a really important element to a rig set up. I have been playing for a little over 2 years, and the only pedal that I have so far is a Fab Metal, which was really cheap but still provides a pretty sweet distortion sound. A wah pedal is like the next level of guitar voicing, and I would really cherish it I believe. The pedal costs $70 or so, which is still pretty cheap relative to the other pedals that are out there. It is the Original Dunlop Cry Baby Wah, which is very old school, but was used by many famous artists like Hendrix because there wasn't anything else available back then. The only thing is that I would like to finally start saving money for a change, because I always find something expensive to buy whenever I get paid, and this would just be like any other splurge after the initial buzz of the new effect wears off.
I could also blow a hundred bucks on some pretty sweet new clothes at the mall, and I am really keen on the idea of getting the Guitar Hero featuring the new Metallica album, although right now I dont have many people I could play it with, so it would not be as fun. I would just be playing it in my room all the time, which is not such a good time. I also need some new computer things to accompany the graphics card that I bought but is incompatible with my current pc, so I basically need to build a brand new one to utilize the new card, which I bought in order to play Elder Scrolls V Oblivion because the first one was so cool.
OMG wtf are you doing in my room
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Bag Management
So today is one of the days that exemplifies my method of ensuring, or at least attempting to ensure that I never run out of weed. I right now have about 3 bags with a little pinch of ganj in each of them, because each time I was about to run out of weed, I got another bag before I did. And then I had part of a bag in my car for taking hitters with, and another bag I kept in my room most of the time to toke bowls while I was doing homework and chilling and stuff. I have now combined those bags into one bowl, which sits in front of me, unhit. Each time I want to take a hit, I call my guy and ask him if he can get a bag. If he says no, I just take a little hit and try to occupy my time with something else. What the system is currently banking on is the guy getting a call from a guy later tonight, so now, I must work on preserving my last remaining bowl, hit by hit, until at least 6 pm, which is in 3.5 hours. Since a bowl equals about 7 or 8 hits (this particular one at least), that figures I can take about 1 hit every half hour, which should also keep me relatively high all day. I also like to up my cigarette intake on these days as well, to keep me from fiending for weed when I don't really need to smoke it. In order to preserve My Last Remaining Bowl throughout this process, I am going to tell everyone who asks that I am out of weed, because really, I pretty much am. But since I had to work this morning, I deserve two hits, so right now I am going to take two. And then another if I dont feel high yet. And these hits will probably be unconsciously large, so will constitute more than My Alloted Amount. This means that I could be out of weed by 4 or 5 pm today, and may have to go as long as 4 hours without toking. During that time, I will create another blog entry entitled 'Withrdawal', and elaborate at length about my sinuses being fucked up because I can't smoke herb.
Here are some of the reasons I smoke weed:
1. It makes me feel better about myself
2. It makes everything more interesting to me, which gives me the patience to deal with/attend to things I otherwise would not have patience for.
3. It gives me access to ways of thinking I don't even know about when I'm straight
4. I can enjoy the day more (though I don't know what that means)
5. Weed actually makes me want to do homework (sometimes). (Depending on what it is, and how i'm feeling, and what the day's been like.) (this is actually pretty rare, but has happened before!)
6. I can sleep better when I have gotten high in the last 2 hours.
7. Weed gives you access to another dimension
8. There may be multiple dimensions that weed can give you access to
9. There are seven levels, the latter 6 makeup what I like to call "The Layers of Life"
10. I just don't see any point to not be in one of these "layers", unless you have to take a "layer" test, upon which resides something important that would be forfeited if the "layers" have been accessed in some duration of recency.
11. I can elborate on things better when I'm high, which is related to the 2nd item of this very list.
12. This list just goes on and on, honestly, so I should change the title to "The first 12 reasons I can think of for why I smoke weed all day every day."
13. I can only make another list when I'm high again.
Here are some of the reasons I smoke weed:
1. It makes me feel better about myself
2. It makes everything more interesting to me, which gives me the patience to deal with/attend to things I otherwise would not have patience for.
3. It gives me access to ways of thinking I don't even know about when I'm straight
4. I can enjoy the day more (though I don't know what that means)
5. Weed actually makes me want to do homework (sometimes). (Depending on what it is, and how i'm feeling, and what the day's been like.) (this is actually pretty rare, but has happened before!)
6. I can sleep better when I have gotten high in the last 2 hours.
7. Weed gives you access to another dimension
8. There may be multiple dimensions that weed can give you access to
9. There are seven levels, the latter 6 makeup what I like to call "The Layers of Life"
10. I just don't see any point to not be in one of these "layers", unless you have to take a "layer" test, upon which resides something important that would be forfeited if the "layers" have been accessed in some duration of recency.
11. I can elborate on things better when I'm high, which is related to the 2nd item of this very list.
12. This list just goes on and on, honestly, so I should change the title to "The first 12 reasons I can think of for why I smoke weed all day every day."
13. I can only make another list when I'm high again.
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